︎     Aimen Rafique–Marsh  ◠‿◠✿
~ xXx cyber princess xXx ~

・✧ CooThingI Made ・✧★・

Album Art for lead single from Komato$e X Lucas Versace Compilation Album (2021)

‘LV & Koma Vol. 1’
Album Art for Lucas Versace and Komato$e Compilation Album (2021)

sneak peek artwork for Rebecca Black’s ‘Closer’ Music Video (2020)

‘Boyfriend In Every City’
Cityscapes for Music Video (2020) 
Directed by Lucy Rose Fuller & Tiago Mathias, with graphics from incredible indie artists (2020)

Personal Statement
Digital Collage / Contemporary Commentary on ADHD (2020)

‘Chromatica One Trick Pony’
For Lady Gaga x Adobe Creativity Tour (2020)

Neonworld, some planet
Vector illo of mentally I’m here (2020)

Sleepy Dayze
Vector illustration (2019)

Long Time Human, First Time Being Vector Doodle (2019)

I Don’t Like Waiting
Vector Doodle (2019)

Class of 2020
Vector Doodle for uh article idk (2019)

Cat Wants Space
Vector Doodle (2020)

In Ur City
Album Art for io album in ur city ◕ᴗ◕✿ (2018)






Part 1

Lots of people I know have lost loved ones in this shit season of Earth 2021: Pandemic Reloaded. We’re going through some sense of loss for our old lives. I’ve seen the term ‘collective grief’ floating around. In late 2020 I heavily identified with it and found myself complaining (ironically…to Maxy) about how sad I was at the possibly permanent loss of nightlife and live music.

Well. When real grief hit, let me tell you the ~ collective grief of not being able to go to restaurants, or the club paled in comparison. Losing Max feels permanent, cruel and relentless. It’s the kind of experience that really makes you feel like one iota of stardust in a vast universe. Not in the best way.

Anyway. I don’t want to make an in memoriam post.

I feel like Max is too vast a presence to be condensed into one-off remembrances. Parsuite, j’ecris part 1.

——- * ✧·゚: *✧·゚:* —— *:·゚✧*:·゚✧ ——

2017 was a pretty difficult year personally. Max visited London to see my sister, at the *peak* of my 21 year old angst, and his visit was full throttle joy and happiness.

I’m shy and painfully awkward – I mouth breathe and I’m kinda stressed about eating in public so hanging out with new people can be weird. I felt zero awkwardness with Max. My sister and I speak in our own strange language of surrealist ethnic internet jargon and Max just got it straight away – no explanations needed.

Many highlights: taking him to Nando’s, our pre-flight Sainsbury’s run that was basically a game of Supermarket Sweep: Flight Snacks. Going on a double decker bus. Asking for his social security number. Sitting on a sticky black leather couch in a really downtempo (kinda garage band??) bar and squeezing all of us in for our only photo of the trip, because we honestly never stopped living in the moment.

——- * ✧·゚: *✧·゚˚☽˚⁀— *:·゚✧*:·゚✧ ——

2020: Year of the Reunion. I have never in my life laughed so hard before. The night Max was due to meet up with my sister, my husband and I were winding down for a fun night at home. I thought I’d see them two at the weekend and catch up, and I wasn’t sure what Max would be like cuz we hadn’t seen each other for years at this point.

They rang us early because they’d hired a manual car and Max only drove auto, so my sister was like “Can y’all come teach us to drive a manual vehicle”. Michael and I couldn’t stop laughing – Max and Anoshe were literally looking up YouTube lessons on driving a manual, and when we got there they’d managed to get from KX to…the next street over…still in KX. Surrounded by some very amused youths. It loses so much in translation but this saga was probably the most we’d laughed in 2020. Again, when we met up there was no awkwardness, just cackle and love. The auto manual mixup was such a classic youth blooper, which just made it sweeter and funnier. I’m so grateful to Michael for that drive we all got to enjoy.

We managed to squeeze in one dinner for the four of us. Max gave Picantés his seal of approval, mans got taste.

——- * ❃·゚: *✧·゚˚☁˚⁀— *:·゚❃:·゚✧ ——

This is the most painful collection of memories.

Max was in my home the 29th of Dec (lockdown purists chill it was for a minute – we needed extra coats so we could hang out in the streets). I showed him my new KORG midi controller and he stood right in front of my (redundant) second TV stand. In the same place I sat for his vigil.

Kensington’s been my happy place since I moved to London, and the tail end of HSK is where we laughed and talked for ages cause we couldn’t properly hang out. Portlands on HSK has like the second largest collection of Arizona iced tea flavors in London, we hung out by there for a while.

The Xmas Eve last minute grocery run for Max and Anoshe was probably the most fun I’ve had shopping for chicken (they had kebab for Xmas dinner though…smh). We hung out with Max and Davon outside Burger King for ages in 1 degree weather. Lit.

We were meant to work on our collab piece but didn’t get to. At this stage the UK government’s coronavirus strategy was heavily inspired by the chorus of Unlock It by Charli XCX (“Lock it lock it, unlock it, lock it lock it”) – we were thrown into Tier 4 pretty last minute.

——- * ✧·゚: *✧·゚:* —— *:·゚✧*:·゚✧ ——

Friday 15th Jan, I was finishing up the artwork for a lead single off of the compilation album Max was working on. We were really inspired by similarly chaotic, vibrant art and music at this point. I sent him my final draft at like 12:21AM UK time, and he really liked it. His last text to me was 04:30 AM UK time telling me he loved it and would ask Lucas to finalize. We’re now working on releasing the album in his honor, I know he wanted it out by March. 

I don’t really remember much of the next few days. I know my friends were kinder than I could’ve imagined and they took care of me. I know I was there for my sister when I needed to be, but I’ll never know if I did enough.

Maximus meant more than a brother in law. He’s a true friend and we really were on the same wavelength. He’s my little big brother – he’s always been a huge vibrant presence.

—-* ✧·゚: *✧·゚:* —☁* ✧·゚: *✧·゚:* ——-

I don’t always remember – so it’s a jolt when I realize. Even now, I find something funny that I know only he will cackle at in the same way. And I’m about to text him because I forget.

The love Max had for Anoshe, his family and his friends is palpable. I see my golden friend’s loving nature in everything: his Mothman sweater he gave me, his technical review of Tempest, the smiles we have in photos, voice notes and memes.

Sometimes I’m in the grocery store feeling like I’m forgetting something or like we need to do something urgently. It’s difficult to realize there’s nothing urgent to do. SOPHIE’s passing amplified the senseless loss of Max’s potential. I don’t have any poignant commentary on grief. It was difficult. After SOPHIE, it got harder. It never really goes away – as Michael said it just becomes less urgent in the moment.

Sometimes I’m mid conversation at work or with people I love and I remember something hilarious he said. And I have to hold back the laughter. More so because they’re usually inside jokes with dark humor others probably won’t get. Those are my favorite moments. It was an honor to share this realm with him.

Me and Anoshe laugh at things we really shouldn’t even now. We made jokes that are probably not in great taste or intelligible to everyone he knew. Initially we didn’t know how to feel about being able to laugh, but then we found this text from Maxy saying “Please joke about me when I die. Not like mean stuff, but laugh”.


Top 50 Songs 2020

decembre 2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣0️⃣

move your cursor around to change the colors of the background. scroll to bottom for Apple Music and Spotify.

1. Thos Moser – gupi and Fraxiom

never do i cry to music, but this song moves me to tears. living in the moment is a 2020 necessity, this song is joyful and sad IN the NOW. also the highlight of my musical career this year was taking music lessons from gupi.

2. anthems – Charli XCX

i think the best xcx songs are the pre-party moods (cc Next Level Charli from 2019’s Charli). if u want to be driven to a concert by a slightly risqué uber driver in a prius…play this on the way. anthems is GROUNDING and TENSE and very much my state of mind march to dec.

3. hand crushed by a mallet (fall out boy remix) – 100 gecs

just like my 14 year old self, i couldn’t go to parties this year, i couldn’t scream at gigs  and i played a lot of emo music. so i mean. when u can do HARDCORE POP x EMO why not…dose of serotonin baby

4. Xxoplex – A.G. Cook

when u want to scream into the void but electronically. this was an excellent interstitional at one of the online fests this year. i think pop crypt??? none of us have a working memory anymore sorry.

5. forever – Charli XCX

before u play that turd of forkturd and everpoo listen to the first song from the OG quarantine album ok. my husband doesn’t like this as much as other XCX music idk why

6. detonate – Charli XCX

shimmery electronic sounds really hit me in the FEELINGS. i think this was a good summary of what it feels like to just EXIST CONSTANTLY in small spaces. 

7. Oracle – A.G. Cook

i think a lot of us felt fearful this year so like…maybe i’m a bit fear-fear-fearful tell me if you’re not fear-fear-fearful oooOracle aAhhahhh 💟
A.G. knows how to do sadcore bedroom computer pop.

8. nothing more to say – io

firstly please turn up your volume because i mastered this with airpods*. i am sorry. i made NMTS extended mix in a really sad place, because i literally had nothing more to say. i think it’s a top 2020 song because it’s patient, tight, angry and bubbling all at once. it’s also nice background white noise ignore while u work I GUESS

*a public apology to all sound engineers

9. superstar (live at secret sky) – A.G. Cook

secret sky was a 2020 highlight (online festival set up by dj porter robinson). porter robinson is one of the earliest true EDM artists i listened to. the curation and QUALITY of sets @ secret sky…poetic cinema. reminded me why i got into music that is just sounds and feelings. superstar is very secret sky.

10. ringtone (umru remix) – 100 gecs

when you see (umru remix) just know you’re getting SNARE…the opening says umru…the vibration at the end always gives me mad anxiety because i feel like i’m getting a phone call …just GOOD

11&12. Gentleman & M’Lady – Dorian Electra

panny D gave us some breathing room so lots of people felt FREE to EXPERIMENT with CONCEPTS OF PERFORMATIVITY in GENDER. this is king Dorian at his best with duelling personas and good f*ckin music. these are separate songs but for me i like them b2b

13. 4ÆM – Grimes

i know f*k notch f!ck musk and i’ll p^ss on zedd but grimes musk did sample  Sanjay Leela Bhansali here. I am a big fan of bolly crossovers. I am patiently waiting for an A.R. Rahman x A.G. Cook collab (sorry but IMAGINE)

14. gec 2 Ü (remix ft. Dorian Electra) – 100 gecs

fake hotline…Dorian COUGHIN into the mic what the heck else do u want from a song…also i spent a lot of time feeling like i was sittin’ all alone when u call me on da phone and say i need luv can u gec 2 me now

15. Windows – A.G. Cook

7G is the magnum opus every producer dreams out but won’t actually throw out there. windows is a great shoegazey electronic dream. delicious lyrics include ‘see in pink & red’

16. movinglikeazombie (umru remix) – dante red

watching this live on halloween was like the portal scene from avengers. just when you think the best artist has delivered the best verse ANOTHER ONE POPS UP. also special place in my heart for the kiss me thru the phone verse <3

17. Quarantine Rly Sucks (gupi remix) – Alice Longyu Gao

what do you not agree with here really

18. Oh Yeah – A.G. Cook

apparently i developed a passion for disassociating on the toilet in 2020 and this was a very good soundtrack for my newest hobby. very Everytime Britney x Shania Twain vibes

19. stupid horse – 100 gecs

listen to this @ 80dB after something utterly SHIT happens. its like when u go tell ur friend ‘yo life is garbage’ and they have an ever more atrocious misfortune to share. gecs init. also if u can’t relate to the I NEVER HAVE ANY MONEY lyric lol congrats

20. SOUR CANDY – Lady Gaga and BLACKPINK

the culture owes lady gaga everything sis was HYPERPOP before HYPERPOP. blackpink is sublime & we love a bilingual pop moment in this haus. delicious lyric: I’M HARD ON THE OUTSIDE BUT IF YOU SEE INSIDE INSIDE INSIDE bop i s2g

21. oohu – A.G. Cook

this is most similar to what i like to make & listen to. the idea of gazing out a rainy window as a femmebot going ‘doo dooo ooohu’ is cool?  chaotic electronica is cathartic and sigmund freud should’ve spent more time investigating that instead of all that oedipus nonsense 💢

22. Edgelord ft. Rebecca Black – Dorian Electra

we live in a society where rebecca black is making a comeback in a big way. as a child of the 00s internet i approve. kiNG DORIAN has had a fantastic year tho for real a niche of their own

23. Rich Bitch Juice (Dylan Brady Remix) – Alice Longyu Gao

most delicious lyric: IM F*CKING TIRED DON’T TELL ME BE HAPPY DON’T YOU DARE TALK TO ME . this remix brings the bff vibe of original rich bitch juice into a whole other, angrier, CURRENT dimension. also mood of the damn year: I’M F%CKING TIRED…EXHUASTED!

24. Alice – Lady Gaga

pop art, art pop, just SOLID POP

25. Mos Thoser – gupi and Fraxiom

you know when the sequel movie is somehow as good as the first one…???? this part 2 is perfect. delicious lyrics  Y’ALL KNOW GOD IS TRANS SO LETS PRAY TO HER AND STREAM TROPHY. you know i think frax is our nxt pop princess.

26. Cool - Dua Lipa

very good angst pop, a little bit Vacation Club Music but really honestly nICE

27. Violence ft. i_O – Grimes

dj i_O very sadly passed away this year. imo his best work. this song is like when you give yourself a monologue pep talk in club bathroom then walk out looking very ambient and mysterious

28. Nasubi (ft. Starman Deluxe) – Komato$e

my very own friend and solid artist Komato$e with one of his best wavy gnarly sounds. collab dropping 2021 once i scrape myself off the metaphorical floor.

29. true (umru remix) – Hannah Diamond

UMRU SAID WE’RE CUTE. i like true a lot, i like Hannah Diamond a lot. meeting her last year was a definite highlight, and the vulnerability she brings stands in contrast to the electronic perfection of her visuals / sounds. CRISPY song and pls someone give thanks to umru for all the results he is getting in 2020

30. Vortex – GRRL

IS THERE A BETTER ELECTRONIC ARTIST THAN GRRL RIGHT NOW. no single dose of dopamine ever delivered more elegantly than in the Odyssey and Marathon albums. GRRL’s sets this year have been impeccable and the one balm soothing my lack of actual rave energy. get your endorphins. listen to Odyssey.

31. Strange Journey – GRRL 

where Odyssey is drum therapy, Marathon is more of a targeted spookathon experience. this is an incredible song and words fail to describe just use ur ears

32. UGH! – BTS

i love BTS. i love songs named UGH! 

33. @@@@@ – Arca

there are some songs worth spending 1:02:21 listening to

34. Nonbinary – Arca

she’s BACK and collaborating with fire artists left right and center. this is a progressive sonic exploration, tinny and spoken wordy. delicious lyric: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DEALING WITH COS UR NOT DEALING WITH COS THERES NO DEAL (like brexit init)

35. skater boy – That Kid

i do not think we are prepared for that kid’s impact on our culture

36. Ocean of Tears (umru remix) – Caroline Polachek

caroline pola was the last artist i saw live, along with sega bodega wahhh. umru’s remix is always a different world to the original. its incredible. for some reason Nintendo Smash Bros vibes.

37. People, I’ve Been Sad – Christine and The Queens

there is a tootimetootime cover by charli and chris on bbc radio 1 that should be mandatory listening for us all. anyway who hasn’t been sad this year? delicious lyric: IF U DISAPPEAR THEN I’M DISAPPEARING TOO, U KNOW THE FEELING (YOU KNOW THE FEELING)

38. PIZZAWALA – Baauer

i love when ethnic sounding music

39. STFU! – Rina Sawayama

in this year of pandemic-induced extra strength east asian racism, do yourself a favor and STFU!!!!!

40. Voicenote – Himera

himera has been all kinds of amazing this year. voicenote is twinkly, and delicate and that synth saw…

41. Aquaventura – GRRL

i have never heard a song that made me feel sharkboy and lavagirl until now

42. The Steps – HAIM


43. Dynamite – BTS

ARMYs would send death threats if this wasn’t on top 50 pls oh god also it’s pretty good ngl BTS just want to have fun ok

44. Lifetime – Romy

i think this song is for that one specific individual who asked me to play intro by the xx at a 90’s night. very cascada mood, good song.

45. Boyfriend In Every City – Roma Radz

this is her debut…like this is how good her DEBUT is. pop princesscore. an excellent song with an excellent music video that P.S. I worked on!!!!! this song made me nostalge for loggin in and out of MSN for attention

46. WAKING UP DOWN – Yaeji

i love yaeji but i have the luxury not to feel like yaeji is stealing from my culture. while rnb appropriation is a strength of hers – so is a bilingual bop. delicious lyric: I GOT WAKING UP DOWN I GOT HYDRATING DOWN (because i most certainly did not lol) 

47. iPhone - Rico Nasty

this song references iPhone and masks…Gen Z VIBING

48. Don Dada – Cakes da Killa

so unfair to drop this in the year of no clubs. i would LOVE to put this in a spicy vogeuy mix honestly

49. If You’re Too Shy Let Me Know – The 1975

i remember sitting in my bedroom fully performing SadGirlMainCharacter to Robbers and this is peak 1975. WE LOVE THE 1975.

50. EAST – Earl Sweatshirt

why don’t more rap songs use the very specific sad kind of middle eastern music we ate dinner to? anyways earl sweatshirt excellence


“Curation gives you an opportunity to pull your head out of your own echo chamber / butt”


The Essential Operating System to Bring You Closer
aug 2020

A sneak peek at CloserOS™ ☻

We are all Closer; Digitally.

CloserOS™ brings essential, high-performance, distance-optimised technology to make cyberspace connections FeelReal®.

Coming Soon To A Machine Near You. CloserOS ™ asks if you are gonna cross the line. We are 6 feet apart, but always Closer with CloserOS ™.

Extremely Limited Release Coming Soon On An Undisclosed Friday Not Far Into The Future. cc Rebecca Black.

The design of CloserOS embraces what brought us joy in our early online lives. CloserOS understands that we want to be Closer at a distance. We live in a society that is hyperconnected, and CloserOS wants your connection to FeelReal® while maintaining a safe distance.

CloserOS asks you to cross the line, bridging your cyberreality with the physical. Above all, we hope you enjoy every Friday, waking up in the morning, getting your bowl and getting cereal.

⊱ ━━━━━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━━━━━ ⊰